i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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