$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize