Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
