where does the pee come out of this thing
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
