He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
