I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm just crazy horny about you
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
