a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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