i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
