you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
