Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
