Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
