Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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