I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
