well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
