i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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