did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
