Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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