I just made out with a guy for $7.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
