They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
