you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
