is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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