I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
