Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Terrible idea I love it
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
