Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
