Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
