I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
