I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
