I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
