I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
