but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
