I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
