If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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