She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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