I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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