they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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