You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
