he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
