It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
