I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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