remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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