You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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