my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
