Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
