dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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