with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
