question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
