My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
