I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
