the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
