remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
