just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
