The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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