as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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