I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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