Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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