Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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