She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
