I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
All the doctor said was why
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
