I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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