man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
