ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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