I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
