Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
