i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
