I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
