One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
