He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She's the barista slut.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
