i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize